30 Second Drill: Owning the Awkward Silence

The dreaded awkward silence. First off, its not real. Silence is a thing. It has no personality or intent. It is not malevolent. The difference between silence and an awkward silence is perceived. That is to say, it is internal. It is entirely possible for two people to experience the same moment and one person feels normal while the other person attaches to the moment the experience of being awkward.

When gaming chicks, a common pitfall is running out of things to say. As you develop your charisma and conversational skills this will happen less and less. But, even when you’re a silver tongued devil, occasionally the perfect thing to say will not come to you with lightning quickness. And it gets quite. The novice will struggle to fill the void. Desperate to not be thought of as awkward. What the novice must remember is that the reason it is silent is both he and the girl are silent. The chick is likely feeling the same type of anxiety. She feels that SHE ran out of things to say.
Nobody can make you feel anything. Embarrassment, feeling awkward, fear, these are all things we do to ourselves. Once you decide to stop doing those things to yourself, they stop happening.

If we decide not to feel awkward, and we realize that the girl we are trying to game feels awkward herself, what does the silence become. From out perspective it becomes just a moment. A chance to reflect on what she’s said. An opportunity to take the conversation another way. A good way to get a girl wrapped in that “swept up” feeling they so desire is to interrupt a deep conversation with a long pause, an intense look, and grab her hand and bounce her to a new location.
From her perspective you are showcasing your manly strength. Even though no words have been said you still appear comfortable and confident. She’s freaking out trying to figure out if she offended you, if you like her, what she’s going to say next. Its great

The 30 Second Drill
I discovered this because I’m an asshole and actually get a kick out of making people uncomfortable. Once I used strong frame to inoculate myself against feeling awkward I realized I could wield silence as a weapon of torture. I expect the reader to use it to free themselves of the belief that silences are anything other than silent.
While having a one on one conversation, when a response is expected of you, stop talking and slowly count to 30
One Mississippi
Two Mississippi
Three Mississippi
Do you feel it? That’s power building. You are rock solid, expressing nothing. Maybe looking pensive.
Fifteen Mississippi
Sixteen Mississippi
At this point she’s asking if you heard her. What you think about it. You look off with a 1000 yard stare
Twenty Mississippi
Twenty One Mississippi
Her hamster is running on heisenberg meth. The silence is unbearable. At this point you’re just being rude.
Twenty Seven Mississippi
Twenty Eight Mississippi
Resume normal conversation as if nothing happened. If she asks jut say you were thinking about what she said. Revel in the look of relief she shows when you continue talking

And that’s it. You’re free. Silence is your bitch now.

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