Category Archives: girl talk

Girl Game: How to Take a Shower

I don’t think women are stupid.
I don’t think they couldn’t figure out how to take a shower.

But, I know this shit has never crossed your minds so I want to drop some girl game on you. So, here’s my guide on how to take a shower at someone else’s house.

1. Temperature
The water does not have to be as hot as you can bear. Warm works just as well at cleaning your body as hot. After workouts I take showers in cold water. I know you’re not going to do that, but now you know its possible.
Why does it matter? Somebody else is paying to heat all that water. So, since you probably didn’t pay for last night’s date, or anything else, save the guy a few bucks. Further, the hotter the water, the faster the hot water reservoir is depleted. When you leave no hot water for the next person, you come off as self absorbed brat.

2. Time
Some women only know to get out of the shower by when the water turns cold. I’ve seen hotels fitted with instant water heaters cause hours of gleeful showering. But, since we are being mindful of our heat consumption, we can’t roll like that anymore. How will you know when you’re done? Here’s a few rules of thumb:
-Once you have cleaned everything.
-Anytime he says something along the lines of “I’ve got to get to work.”
-If he is taking a shower after you, way before you think you might have used half the hot water.
-When the bathroom is completely fogged.

3. Leave it better than you found it.
Its like camping. Only in the bathroom. You have to realize that one bar of soap, one towel, and one roll of toilet paper can last a man a month. We love when you come over. But also realize when you do come over you tend to use four towels, half a roll of the TP, and that Dove soap I buy for my lady guests seems to evaporate into the air. Since you have consumed resources, feel free to contribute something to the house. Wash a load of towels (you can even use laundry machine), clean up something, cook something.
Don’t leave your little knick knacks everywhere. In your mind you are going to come back for them. You never do. Don’t leave water all over the floor.

4. What’s in it for me?
I firmly believe that everything anybody has ever done has selfish motivations. I wouldn’t expect you to go through all of this trouble if there wasn’t a payoff. Here, the payoff is huge. Being kind and thoughtful in a man’s space is one of the few ways a women can boost her attractiveness. When a women does things that shows she cares and wants to be a positive part of my life, that can easily boost her two whole points. That sort of shit affects men the way seeing your man take off his fitted three piece to expertly change the tire that goes flat in a bad neighborhood at night affects you.
Here’s a free tip that’s not related to any of this. If you want some tongue-a-lingus, the best time is fresh out the shower. #TheMoreYouKnow

Good luck ladies. Remember time is limited.

 

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“I want you to want me”

We already know that women love attention. They love attention so much that they will accept romantic attention even if they have no romantic intentions. But, you already knew that. There is another, less discussed reason women love attention.

Your Attention is Social Currency

When you text a girl, take her on a date, attempt to day game her etc, no matter what happens, she walks away from the interaction with something of value. She can now go back to her friends and say “omg Jason just texted me, what should i say?” This is valuable because all women hate their friends and this is a backhanded way of saying “Jason is giving me attention cuz im hawt, not you.” Additionally, women know that part of their value rests in how many and what quality of suitors they can attract. Giving a girl attention increases her value. A woman who gets no attention is of low value (read: fat).

This is a universal among women. You can even apply it to the “street harassment” nonsense some women talk about. They don’t campaign against “street harassment” because this terrible thing that exists (it doesn’t). They campaign against it because its a back handed way of saying “i’m so attractive I get sexual attention from strangers”.

You are literally giving a woman a gift just by speaking to them. Act accordingly.